If You Dont Get a Bid in a Frat Should You Try Again
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| No bid, should I blitz the aforementioned fraternity again, a dissimilar i, or at all? I promise I'll effort to keep this concise. My school merely has 4 fraternities. We as well do not accept our official rush until the starting time of sophomore year. That said, there was a lot of informal recruitment second semester of terminal twelvemonth, and throughout the unabridged process I felt like I really connected with one fraternity. Now because of this, when the second week of rush came, they all begin scheduling events at the same time, forcing us to narrow down our focus. Naturally, I chose the one I liked. At all the rush events, I felt like I really met a lot of the brothers and continued well. I made good friends with many. And then, halfway through the second week, I got a message from the rush chair saying that "they didn't feel like at that place would exist a spot for me this semester" and that "on a more than personal level, I'chiliad really upset to have to practice this, considering it doesn't reflect my stance, and this was by far the hardest thing I've had to practice as rush chair" Ok so my friend and current roommate DID get a bid to this fraternity. After conversations with both the rush chair and another blood brother, he told me that 1. There was a group of brothers that simply manifestly felt they didn't know me well enough or at all. And 2. there was one brother in particular who felt I was "abrasive" towards him. I was pretty upset at myself for not getting to know more people, and for coming off every bit abrasive towards the one particular blood brother. I merely recall ane conversation with him, and it moved from discussing history (a common interest) to sports. At the fourth dimension it seemed we got along fine. Anyway, I know nobody on here tin can requite me any specific insights as to what the results would exist if I rushed again. But at present, with the brothers I already know, too as existence friends with nigh of the current pledge class, would I stand a better adventure rushing over again? I know they did accept a few juniors in their PC this year, but I'one thousand not sure whether they had rushed previously or not. And my other question is, if anyone thinks I notwithstanding wouldn't get a bid the second time around, should I focus on rushing the other 3 fraternities, or would they be kind of opposed to that since I showed nigh no interest in them the first time around? (The only difference now being that I will know nearly all the new members in all 4 fraternities, since we take a rather pocket-size school, and a depression percentage in Greek life- each PC was around 20-25) |
09-24-2013, eleven:25 PM 
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| Did your roommate/friend invite y'all to any fraternity events last year? How potent is your friendship with your roommate, i.due east.,is information technology such that he would drive three hours out of town to pick you up if your car broke down, or is information technology that you get forth well as roommates? Is the one brother who felt you were annoying however there? __________________ Final edited by FSUZeta; 09-25-2013 at 09:20 AM. |
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| Yous can always endeavour once again with the fraternity that y'all focused on. But, call back, even knowing the majority of the new pc doesn't guarantee you tin can get a bid. Since you besides know other pc members in the other 3 groups, go ahead and allow them know yous are interested in rushing. Go to their events, as well. It can't injure, and y'all might find you are enjoying hanging out with a unlike group than the i you lot previously set your sights on. __________________ I'll support the RedWolves, just in my heart I'll always be an ASU Indian. Go Tribe! (1931-2008) |
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| Just to clarify a few things, my roommate is currently undergoing the pledging process. We rushed at the aforementioned time. He received a bid on the day that I did not receive a bid. And aye nosotros are good friends. We did not live together concluding year, simply chose to live together this yr as sophomores. As a matter of fact, he told me last night that when the next rush comes around (whether spring or adjacent fall, not sure if the fraternity will do a spring rush) that he will be certain to spend every bit much fourth dimension as he tin trying to talk me upwardly and put in a practiced word for me, etc... And also, yes, the brother that plant me annoying is still there. He is currently a junior so will be a senior side by side year if that is when I rush again. Does this kill my chances? If I blitz once again should I devote a bit of extra time trying to talk to him and make sure he doesn't accept the wrong idea of me? |
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| To exist honest, it sounds like your roommate is giving you lot the information that you are seeking. __________________ I'll support the RedWolves, merely in my heart I'll always be an ASU Indian. Become Tribe! (1931-2008) |
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| I don't think that your roommate's fraternity is going to be the one for y'all. Y'all have a bad human relationship with one person. He doesn't like you. However their membership selection works, he tin either cake yous or he has convinced enough people to become forth with him that you are blocked. Work on yourself this year and rush elsewhere next yr. Don't focus on that group. There accept to be other adept groups on your campus and you should explore as many of those options equally possible. You can still be friends with your roommate, but I would definitely await elsewhere. I've seen young men go stuck on one group and non explore other options. It is a mistake. Bad relationships with i or two guys will keep you out, sometimes. Don't do that to yourself. If you want to be Greek, look elsewhere. |
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| Additionally, y'all might accept any invitations your roommate extends to you to join in fraternity activities, and attempt to get a feel for the general fraternal attitude toward yous. If abrasive boy continues to give you the cold shoulder, dagger eyes or mean sideways glances, you may have your respond. I estimate what you lot will have to determine is which is more important to you: to be greek or be a member of your friend'due south fraternity. Good luck! __________________ |
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| My initial hope wasn't to be a part of a fraternity with my friend. Information technology was to be a part of THIS fraternity. Therefore I didn't actually give others much of a chance. My roommate actually started rushing later than I did. I will definitely give others more of a look adjacent time around. I'one thousand just wondering what the general stance of someone rushing as a junior is. (Over again Freshmen can't rush) and also is having 1 person with a bad opinion of me actually enough to impale my chances? Should I even bother rushing that fraternity again, or is there any signal? And if my friend spends a lot of time trying to change his stance/convince others that I would exist a adept fit? How much can this help me? |
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| And yep, I think information technology is important to me to be a part of Greek life, so long as I find a fit. I actually similar a lot of things they represent, and on this campus particularly they take a very potent presence in customs service and volunteering, etc... Which I was having a difficult fourth dimension getting involved in because there'south a lot of red record. But that's beside the bespeak. Likewise, on a side annotation, I am at present an elected official in a volunteering club and a fellow member of another, besides as (hopefully) going to exist role of a school administrator programme. Also, my GPA is up considerably. None of these things were really the instance earlier when I rushed. Can I use all of these things to my reward the next time I rush? If so, how? Considering the last thing I want to do is be that rush who won't close upwardly about everything he does on campus, painting myself every bit God's gift to the higher. I know I'g not that. But I would similar to somehow put it out there that perhaps I now accept more to offering to a fraternity, and that I accept an increased interest in campus life, which has to be something whatever fraternity would be looking for, right? How can I get this out without sounding like I'm simply in beloved with myself? |
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| While sororities hither emphasize grades, volunteering, positions on campus, etc, in my experience in the overwhelming majority of fraternities it does not matter. Nosotros cutting involved kids without a second thought, and pledged course risks without even batting an centre. Fraternities tend to come down to "practice we like this guy or not?". Unless your involvement is a varsity sport, I doubt it will even really be discussed. From reading your story, I would wait elsewhere, if merely for security. A friend in the affiliate does not really do much. We cut guys who were really good friends with kids in our affiliate all the time. Also, for many fraternities, it may but have one vote to proceed you lot out from being pledged. I besides cannot honestly retrieve taking a guy who rushed our business firm a second time, and at that place were many. FWIW, my best friend from college was in a rival fraternity, and I'thou closer to that guy still than everyone who was in my house. You can still be shut friends with somebody even if y'all are non in the same house. |
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| Quote: Originally Posted past DTD Alum While sororities here emphasize grades, volunteering, positions on campus, etc, in my experience in the overwhelming majority of fraternities it does not matter. We cut involved kids without a 2d idea, and pledged grade risks without even batting an eye. Fraternities tend to come downwardly to "do we similar this guy or not?". Unless your involvement is a varsity sport, I uncertainty it will fifty-fifty actually exist discussed. From reading your story, I would look elsewhere, if only for security. A friend in the affiliate does not really do much. We cut guys who were really skillful friends with kids in our chapter all the time. Also, for many fraternities, information technology may just have one vote to keep you out from existence pledged. I besides cannot honestly remember taking a guy who rushed our firm a 2nd time, and in that location were many. FWIW, my all-time friend from college was in a rival fraternity, and I'm closer to that guy still than anybody who was in my business firm. You tin can even so exist close friends with somebody even if you lot are not in the same firm. This was my experience equally well. The of import phrase is "do nosotros like this guy or not?". __________________ |
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| Then does anyone accept whatever idea every bit to what the general feeling of someone rushing as a junior is? Non with the aforementioned fraternity just a unlike one. One I didn't rush at all last time. And of class keeping in mind that freshmen here can't rush so fraternities are all sophomores juniors and seniors. Does a inferior rushing beginning with the deck stacked against him even if it'south his first time rushing that particular fraternity? Could it be an advantage? Or does information technology not impact annihilation at all? |
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| Unless someone is familiar with your campus, it is hard for the states to say. It would have been fine on my campus. He would have been in the minority, but if the brothers liked him, it didn't matter. This may not be truthful on your campus. I don't know if information technology would be an advantage or disadvantage. It may simply be "Oh yeah Cmg, nosotros like him and all the brothers like him too." __________________ "Sisterhood is non about being popular, its about developing character, forming bonds, and self-discovery. If later four years yous can hold you head loftier, so admittedly your sorority is "tops"." - H2oot |
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| On a campus with only four fraternities, would one firm know that I rushed some other firm and didn't get a bid? Would they ask if I'd rushed before during rush? If so what should my reply be? (Yes, obviously, but would they ask why I didn't get a bid, why I'1000 rushing once again, etc...?) essentially I'thousand only very clueless about all of this. When I offset came to college I barely even knew what a fraternity was. I just knew them as guys that hate cargo shorts. Just at present I really have an appreciation for them, and I wish I had earlier, because I feel it actually would've been beneficial. If I were to enquire guys I currently know in a fraternity whether or not they are planning on having rush in the bound, would they think I was being desperate or over eager or something? Or would they be happy I asked? Obviously nobody on this site knows exactly what will happen I'thou just actually trying to get a feel of what the atmosphere will be like in either spring rush or junior rush. I'm and so broken-hearted about all of it already. Non getting a bid to the fraternity I started this thread about was a huge blow to my confidence and pushed me dorsum into a social shell that I thought I left backside in loftier school. Whether information technology'due south that i or one of the others, I am 100% confident that beingness in a fraternity is something I want to do. I'm sorry I'yard but like saying everything at this bespeak it'south not even relevant to the original thread... |
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| Quote: Originally Posted by Cmg115 On a campus with only iv fraternities, would one house know that I rushed another firm and didn't get a bid? I think information technology depends more on campus size and culture. Generally speaking, the smaller the campus, the more probable they would know you lot rushed. However, they may not know you were non offered a bid. For all they know, y'all might have turned i down. Quote: Would they inquire if I'd rushed before during rush? Yep, they volition almost probable enquire if you rushed earlier. Or may already know you have rushed. Quote: If so what should my answer exist? (Aye, obviously, but would they ask why I didn't get a bid, why I'm rushing again, etc...?) What you want to become beyond is that you really were (in your words) �clueless�. Sometimes the �come to Jesus moment� is what a chapter may be looking for in a member. Some men know before college, while others may need a year or and then. And then as you noted, the answer is �aye�. You lot don�t know why you lot were not extended a bid, and even if you did, I would recall it best to not discuss that if possible. Maybe merely a unproblematic "it wasn't a adept fit" is all you need to say. You know your campus improve than we do, but I think proverb something forth what you wrote �When I get-go came to higher I barely even knew what a fraternity was. I simply knew them equally guys that hate cargo shorts. But now I really take an appreciation for them, and I wish I had before, because I feel it actually would've been beneficial� lets them know information technology took you a while to go to where yous are now. Side notation: you may desire to leave the �cargo shorts� reference out. But on the flip side, if it is said with humor and tact, it tin be a nice �icebreaker�. Quote: If I were to ask guys I currently know in a fraternity whether or non they are planning on having rush in the bound, would they call up I was beingness desperate or over eager or something? Or would they be happy I asked? Apparently nobody on this site knows exactly what will happen I'g only really trying to get a feel of what the atmosphere will be like in either jump rush or junior rush. Letting members know you are interested is good because otherwise, the chapter may not know you are still interested � particularly given your class year. Regardless of all this, equally was noted up thread, the important role of all this is the �Do nosotros like this guy or not?" Maybe they don�t �dislike� you, but don�t know you well enough yet. Accept the balance of this semester to meet more of the members and come up spring, express your involvement. (Annotation: depending on the campus and the chapters, receiving a bid as a junior may be more than difficult. Equally such, I wouldn�t look unless you lot truly don�t experience ready to rush in the leap.) Quote: I'm and then broken-hearted about all of it already. Not getting a bid to the fraternity I started this thread well-nigh was a huge blow to my conviction and pushed me back into a social crush that I idea I left behind in high school. Whether it's that i or one of the others, I am 100% confident that being in a fraternity is something I want to do. I'thousand sorry I'm just like saying everything at this indicate it's not even relevant to the original thread. In that location can be a fine line between �anxious� and �excited�. While fraternities like rushees who are excited about the chapter, if they are too broken-hearted � and perhaps but trying to do the �right matter� to go a bid and non plumbing fixtures in - that can be a turn off. Once again, it comes downwards to if you are a �right fit� � and �do nosotros like this guy?� Endeavour to relax and utilise the residue of semester to get to know the members improve. Go along an open up mind and endeavour to give information technology your best shot in the jump. Best of luck to you. |
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